Chibified
by turbomagnus
Summary: Ranma's grandmother gave him a special gift to make up for over ten-years of missed birthdays, but sometimes the chibi-Ranma puppets just made him sure that he was the only sane person in his family.
1. I - Wild Horses and Family Trees

Author's Note: Alright, I've finally reached the point of breaking down and deciding to move the 'Chibified' series from "Wild Horse Chase" into a story in its own right. Like with the "Credo Quia Impossible Est" series, some chapters have been moved around from the original order and the original chapters will remain in "Wild Horse Chase" for posterity while any new chapters will be added here.

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 is the creation of Rumiko Takahashi and ...Honestly, I'm not sure who owns Tenchi Muyo anymore, really... each being used for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit.

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><p>-o0O0o-<p>

"Chibified"  
>'Wild Horses and Family Trees'<br>By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

-o0O0o-

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><p>"The problem with family trees is that some are nut trees." - Anon.<p>

* * *

><p>-o0o-<p>

Saotome Ranma found himself wondering how this had happened, how he had ended up being dragged to a shrine in the middle of nowhere like he was...

'Oh, right,' he thought, 'Mom showed up without warning, so I didn't have time to become 'Ranko' first, Pops was out with Mr. Tendo, so I couldn't escape when she decided I needed to go with her to visit her side of the family.'

He didn't have a problem with shrines; he'd visited tons of shrines, temples, dojos and places like that with his old man during their trip. He just wasn't sure he liked the idea of family; his old man had ruined his life and his mom would probably make him kill himself when she found out about his curse, he didn't want to think about what the rest of his family might be like. He hadn't ever considered this as a possibility, he'd never thought seriously that the insanity in Nerima was just following him, but first Jusenkyo and the Amazons, then Nerima and everything there and now the current situation.

'Maybe it _is_ me,' he thought, 'Maybe Akane's right and everything really is all my fault.'

His mom's brother-in-law was strange, he was supposed to be some kind of prince, but he kept a shrine; not that it bothered Ranma, at least since he was older and married it meant that he was one prince that wouldn't come looking for a bride that he'd end up saving Akane from for a change. His aunt, though, his mother's sister - she reminded him of Shampoo, kinda; right down to a weird hair color, he'd never seen anyone with that shade of bright cyan-blue hair before. She talked about being some kind of pirate, semi-reformed and -retired, which didn't really affect Ranma considering some of the people he had met. It was when they had asked him to go get his grandmother for lunch that things had gone crazy even by his generous standards.

The crab-shaped nameplate on the door was cute, different than the ducks that each of the Tendo sisters had on their bedroom doors, though Ranma had at first thought it was a little childish for someone so old her children had children of their own. Then he considered it a moment longer and decided that if his grandmother wanted to have a crab-shaped nameplate on her door, it was better than being an underwear thief and an old ghoul like the other two old people he knew. Ranma had opened the door and stepped through into a room that was way too big for the amount of space in the house. He took two steps forward only for the door to swing shut behind him and when he had tried to open it, it wouldn't budge. Calling out, he had started to look around the room at all the weird machines and computer-looking things while he tried to find his grandmother. After a few minutes, he had felt something behind him and before he could turn around everything went black. Which was why he now found himself in a situation that dealing with Kodachi had made him more used to than he'd like - waking up stripped to his boxers and bound to a table.

"Good morning!" A red-head that was even shorter than his cursed form chirped, "I'm Washu-chan and you must be Nodoka's little one - don't worry, I wouldn't do anything _permanent _to my daughter's only child."

Ranma looked around the room, the lab, down at the straps holding him to the table, then to Washu, "Uh... Granny..."

Suddenly, he felt like the time Ryoga had knocked him into a generator during one of their fights as the metal straps were electrified, shocking the pigtailed martial artist for a few seconds before the current cut off and left him laying there stunned.

"Uh-uh-uh," Washu wagged her finger at him, "We don't talk like that to the Cutest Scientist in the Universe, got it?"

A chibi-puppet version of Ranma's grandmother popped up over her left shoulder, "You're the greatest, Washu-chan!"

"And the cutest, too!" A second chibi-puppet added as it popped up over her right shoulder.

For the first time in years, Ranma's brain cell dedicated to analysing a situation and the brain cell for thinking about things not having to do with The Art met. To commemorate their encounter, they decided to have a little party in the pigtailed boy's cerebral cortex and by the time it was through, he had come to a stunning and frightening realisation that he couldn't keep himself from giving voice to...

"Oh, Kamis all," Ranma groaned in despair, "_I'm_ the normal one in the family!"

-o0o-

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><p>Furinkan High School,<br>Nerima Ward,  
>Six weeks later...<p>

"Now, foul sorceror, prepare to meet thy doom!" Kuno's voice cut across the schoolyard.

"Geez, Kuno," Ranma rolled his eyes, "How much are you paying the Drama Club to write these lines for you?"

"Silence, cur! I strike!" Kuno stabbed out with his bokken, only for Ranma to leap over the kendoist, twist in midair and land on his feet facing the 'True Blunder' of Furinkan.

"Really, how many times have I beat you, Kuno? Yeah, every time, that's right," Ranma reminded him, only for a chibi-puppet of his male form to pop out over his right shoulder.

"He's really not that good, is he, Ranma-kun?" the puppet asked, only to be joined by a chibi-puppet of Ranma's female form appearing over the martial artist's left shoulder and answering the question.

"It doesn't matter how good Kuno is," the female form chibi-puppet commented, "Ranma-kun's the best!"

"He's the greatest!" male chibi-Ranma agreed.

"And so manly!" female-chibi Ranma added, causing the full-sized Ranma to groan.

'Why did Mom have to talk her into adding that to them?' he groaned. Really he did like 'Chibi-ma' and 'Chibi-ko', Chibi-puppets of his male and female forms based on Washu's own Chibi-Washus, a present from the 'Greatest and Cutest Scientist in The Universe' for over ten years of missed birthdays, but sometimes they just reminded him of the simple fact that his entire family was nuts.

"I liked him better before he got those things," Nabiki muttered from the window of a second floor classroom as Chibi-ma and Chibi-ko pulled a small table and pair of microphones out of nowhere and began commentating on the latest round of Ranma versus Kuno when the kendoist turned around and attacked again.


	2. II - Commentary

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 is the creation of Rumiko Takahashi and ...Honestly, I'm not sure who owns Tenchi Muyo anymore, really... each being used for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit.

* * *

><p>-o0O0o-<p>

"Chibified"  
>'Commentary'<br>By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

-o0O0o-

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><p>"Wrestling may be choreographed, but anyone who says its 'fake' has never been hit over the head with a steel chair." - Anon.<p>

* * *

><p>-o0o-<p>

"It's a beautiful night for a fight here at Furinkan Stadium, isn't it, Chibi-ma?" The female chibi-Ranma puppet sitting behind the table asked of her partner.

"It's early morning and this is a school, Chibi-ko," the male chibi-Ranma puppet shook his head, sometimes he thought Chibi-ko took after Ranma-kun's mother and Washu-chan a little too much.

Chibi-ko looked around at Ranma-kun and Kuno Tatewaki facing off, the large walls surrounding the area, the spectators, and frowned, "You're sure it's a school? The only thing missing is the vendors selling popcorn and drinks - unless you count Ucchan - it looks like some kind of stadium or arena to me."

Chibi-ma looked around like his partner had, then looked at her, "I hate it when you have a point."

"Hey, the fight's about to start - Stupid Kuno's even ranting about how the 'foul sorceror' trapped the 'Pig-Tailed Goddess's' soul in a doll, this might be a good one if he'll go all out over that," Chibi-ko commented.

"I don't know, Chibi-ko," Chibi-ma said, "Kuno's left arm looks like he's holding it kinda low - that kind of stance may hurt him in the later rounds."

"This is Kuno here, Chibi-ma," Chibi-ko countered, "I'm betting on a first round knock-out. Ask Nabiki if you don't believe me - I've got twenty-five hundred yen down on it."

"Sure, for the morning fight, but we all know he'll be back later in the day for another go," Chibi-ma reminded his partner.

"Not if Ranma-kun puts him in the school infirmary for the rest of the day," Chibi-ko pointed out, "Come on, Ranma-kun! Do it for me!"

Chibi-ma groaned and shook his head; Ranma-kun had looked at them to see what Chibi-ko was yelling about and ended up losing about two inches off of his hair to a slash from Kuno's bokken. The wooden practice sword itself never touched Ranma-kun, it was all air pressure. Kuno could do things like this and the tomboy thought she was a better martial artist, even than him? The only reason she ever won was because the Kendoist pulled his punches fighting her since his desires and his declaration were in conflict; he wanted to win to date the tomboy, but he never wanted to actually hurt her in the process. For all his 'unique' habits, Kuno probably understood restraint better than any of the other martial artists in Nerima, now that Chibi-ma thought about it, maybe even better than Ranma-kun since Kuno could restrain himself without it looking like he was mocking his opponent by not going all out. The fact that the tomboy never demanded Kuno fight her 'for real' like she did Ranma-kun was proof of that.

Turning his attention back to the fight, Chibi-ma was just in time to see Ranma-kun's idea of revenge for the haircut as he got Kuno in a headlock and...

"Oh, good gods!" Chibi-ma exclaimed in horrified shock, "There's gotta be a law against that!"

"Don't worry, Kuno," Chibi-ko added, "We're sure that somewhere out there is a girl who'll think that's a good look for you. If nothing else, there's always Azusa!"

"Now I'm _sure _there's a law against that," Chibi-ma remarked before shout at the kendoist, "Your father would be proud of you, Kuno!"

"Quick, somebody call Superman," Chibi-ko joked, "Lex Luthor's here now!"

The two chibi-puppets had a good laugh, even if most of the student body were still staring at Kuno standing there, looking at his hair laying on the ground around him after being on the recieving end of a Katchu Tenshin Amaguriken-noogie from his opponent.

"Five hundred yen on him calling Ranma-kun 'Foul Sorceror'," Chibi-ma commented to Chibi-ko.

"Nuh-uh," Chibi-ko shook her head, "It's gonna be 'Cur', I'll bet on it."

Kuno slowly reached up and patted his head with a hand before clenching his bokken tight and growling at Ranma-kun, "Disgraceful cur! How dare you defile the beauteous head of the noble scion of Kuno in such a way!"

"Pay up, sparky," Chibi-ko held her hand out to recieve the ten fifty-yen coins that Chibi-ma gave her.

Raising his bokken over his head, Kuno charged Ranma, only to recieve a swift kick to the jaw that sent him flying over the school building.

"And he's not The Heart-Break Kid, but Ranma-kun certainly played Kuno some sweet chin music today, folks," Chibi-ma announced, "It just goes to show that charging into battle with your sword raised and screaming just doesn't cut it anymore."

"Winners of today's 'Morning Matchup' betting pool, please remember to see Tendo Nabiki to collect your winnings," Chibi-ko continued, "And feel free to join us later for the Lunchtime Launchpad and the After-School Aftershocks!"

"For Chibi-ko and Ranma-kun, this is Chibi-ma saying... Good morning, now get to class!"

* * *

><p>-o0O0o-<p>

Author's Note; Yes, I was influenced somewhat by Jim "J.R." Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler, why do you ask?


	3. III - Locker Room

In the immortal words of Samuel L. Clemens... "Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR."

Disclaimer: "Ranma 1/2" is owned by Takahashi Rumiko, used without permission or intent to profit. I'm unsure who owned "Tenchi Muyo", but it falls under the same classifications and restrictions.

* * *

><p>-o0O0o-<p>

"Chibified"  
>'Locker Room'<br>By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

-o0O0o-

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><p>He'd never heard the word, wouldn't know what it meant if he did and be completely unable to spell it, but trepidation was the word of the day as Saotome Ranma stood before the crab-nameplated door that led to his grandmother's lab. For the longest time, Ranma had thought only two things could scare him, not just make him worried, but really scare him; Cats and Akane's cooking. Now he knew he could add a third; Jusenkyo would never hold the dark place in his heart that the laboratory of Hibiki Washu - and he made sure to thank every Kami he could think of that his Granny and Ryoga having the same last name was just coincidence and they weren't related at all; he'd even paid Nabiki to check it out just to be sure - held as the birthplace of the most dangerous... things to have ever entered his life.<p>

"We're off to see the Maker, the wonderful Maker of us," the female chibi-Ranma puppet sang as she sat on the left shoulder of the full-sized original.

"Everything Washu-chan gave us, all the knowledge and abilities," the male chibi-Ranma puppet sitting on Ranma's right shoulder sighed, "And you still can't sing worth a flip..."

"At least I've got talent," Chibi-ko snapped.

"Both of you, quit it, okay?" Ranma himself groaned, "Not right in my ears, anyway..."

"Sure thing, Ranma-kun," Chibi-ko cooed.

"Whatever you say," Chibi-ma shrugged.

"Something wrong, Ranma-kun?" Sasame, the youngest of his grandmother's housemates, asked from where she was looking through a cookbook; despite being much younger and having blue hair in pigtails rather than a brown ponytail, she really reminded him of Kasumi a little too much sometimes.

"Uh..." Ranma looked at the door in front of him before answering, "Just a little nervous, I guess. Still not used to Granny Washu's lab."

Sasame giggled, "Tenchi doesn't like going in there either, but you should be safe. After all, you're her family, right?"

"That's not reassuring," Ranma muttered before he opened the door and stepped on through to the other side.

* * *

><p>-o0o-<p>

"Good morning, Little Ranma!" A voice greeted cheerily, followed by two higher pitched similar voices who added, "And good morning Chibi-Ranma puppets!"

"Good morning, Chibi-Washu puppets," Chibi-ko and Chibi-ma replied, waving hello.

It wasn't being wrapped in fish sausages and thrown into a pit of hungry cats time after time, day after day for only the Kami would know how long, but Ranma felt the beginnings of a feeling of dread relating to 'chibi-puppets' shoot down his spine.

"Good morning, Gran-" Ranma stopped at the cold glare his grandmother was giving him, he was the Greatest Martial Artist in the world, a certified Godslayer... and somehow, that woman half his size scared him more with a hard look than anyone who had ever threatened his death could at their worst, "Washu-chan."

Washu's expression changed from warning coldness to warm and welcoming, "So, how can I help my favorite grandson today? It has to be something for you to come all the way out here from Tokyo, after all."

"It's these two," Ranma pointed with his thumbs at Chibi-ma and Chibi-ko, "I think something might have been knocked loose or something - they're acting... weird, I guess..."

"Uh-huh," Washu leaned forward on her floating pillow, "And just how weird are they acting, can you tell?"

"Well, they keep... talking," Ranma answered.

"Of course they talk, silly," Washu shook her head, "They're supposed to do that, they're meant to be as life-like as possible in as many respects as they can."

"You're the greatest, Washu-chan!" one of the redheaded scientist's chibi-puppets cheered, only for the other to add, "No one can create like you can, Washu-chan!"

"No, no, not talking," Ranma groaned, "I mean, yeah, they talk... but it's what they're saying, how they're acting..."

"Aaaaand?" Washu drew out the word with a somewhat disturbing grin.

"They keep acting like some kind of sports announcers," Ranma finally managed to grumble.

"That's a problem?" Washu asked.

"Well... I dunno," Ranma finally admitted, "Are they supposed to be doing that?"

"You do a sport, right?"

"I practice the Art," Ranma nodded slowly.

"And you talk about it?"

"Yeah, I guess," Ranma agreed.

Washu gave him a smile that went right up to her eyes, "Then, yes, that's what they're supposed to do! They're based on you for the most part, if you'll remember."

Ranma's eyes widened and he looked from one chibi-Ranma puppet to the other, "That's... in me?"

"Yes!" Washu informed him, causing her grandson to look at her... and promptly faint, his chibi-puppets jumping away as he fell to the floor.

While Chibi-ma leant over Ranma and tried to shake him back to consciousness, Chibi-ko looked around and exclaimed, "Somebody get the medics in here! The champ is down!"


	4. IV - The Divas

Author's Note: The 365 Project is an experimental _multi-fandom_ project to write and post at least one short every day for the next year, not including my semi-regular bi-weekly updates. For more details, see the relevent section in my profile. This is The 365 Project, 9 October.

In the immortal words of Samuel L. Clemens... "Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR."

Disclaimer: "Ranma 1/2" is owned by Takahashi Rumiko, used without permission or intent to profit. I'm unsure who owned "Tenchi Muyo", but it falls under the same classifications and restrictions. Sorry for the weak fight, but it's been so long since I've seen any of the Tenchi shows that I don't remember what-all Aeka can do besides summon her Guardians... Sorry.

* * *

><p>-o0O0o-<p>

"Chibified"  
>'The Divas'<br>By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

-o0O0o-

* * *

><p>"You know Chibi-ko, they say 'the female of the species is deadlier than the male'," Chibi-ma observed.<p>

"I notice they don't say what species," Chibi-ko snorted, "But yeah, I've heard that. And it's fixing to be proven here today..."

"And you know what else?" Chibi-ma added quickly, "We've got to get a chibi-Mills Lane or something, because I sure as hell don't plan to referee this match myself!"

"No more chibi-puppets!" the full-sized original of Saotome Ranma cried out, already having enough trouble dealing with two of them.

"Well, the big boss man has spoken, folks," Chibi-ma remarked, "Us and Washu-chan's are all the chibi-puppets you're gonna get."

"Hey, what do you expect?" Chibi-ko smirked, "How can you improve on perfection?"

"She's got an ego, folks," Chibi-ma announced, "But unlike a certain someone built like a brick - and not the good kind, either - she's got what it takes to back it up."

"And so do both of tonight's fighters," Chibi-ko added, "In the red corner with the purple hair; she insists that you call her 'Princess', probably because she is one, the elder daughter of the royal family of Jurai, heiress to a multi-system throne and noted chaser of brothers and nephews... Aeka!"

"Yay..." Chibi-ma droned in a flat tone before perking up, "And in the blue corner with the cyan hair; officially-'retired' as a space pirate, finally getting married to Tenchi doesn't seem to have killed the rivalry between her and Aeka, she's Washu-sama's daughter and Ranma-kun's aunt, it's Ryoko!"

"Yeah!" Chibi-ko shouted, pumping the air with her fist, "Woo-woo-woo-woo!"

"Don't worry folks, even if Ryoko is family, we'll call the fight fair," Chibi-ma promised.

Chibi-ko shook her head, "Those are two words that just don't go together, 'ma."

"What 'Ryoko' and 'Family'?"

"No, 'Fight' and 'Fair' - haven't _you _ever heard; 'The only fair fight is the one you win'?"

"Well, yeah," Chibi-ma admitted with a smirk, "But we prefer to call it 'Anything Goes'."

"Some people need to look up the word 'Anything' in a dictionary," Chibi-ko remarked, "Now would somebody please throw the first damn punch?"

Seconds later, Aeka was stumbling backwards and raising a hand to her cheek, "How dare you!"

Ryoko smirked and unclenched and reclenched her fists, "You heard them, 'Princess', now are you going to fight or are you going to play hurt feelings?"

"Well, that proves it," Chibi-ma commented, "It's definitely a family trait."

"Wretch!" Aeka spat as she took a step forward and slapped Ryoko, only to double over from being punched in the stomach.

"Seriously? Slapping me is all you can do?" Ryoko rolled her eyes in disbelief, "I've been hurt worse by your mother's hugs."

"Try this, then, demon!" Aeka drew back and punched Ryoko in the mouth.

"Not impressed," Ryoko taunted in a sing-song voice, "An-y-time now you can actually be serious."

"You want a serious fight, fine!" Aeka snapped, "Asaka! Kamadake!"

Summoned by her command, the two Guardians appeared flanking Aeka.

"Yes, Princess?" the one with red markings asked.

"What is it you need?" the blue-marked one inquired.

Chibi-ma looked at his 'sister' with a frown, "Was this an 'Anything Goes' match?"

"Nobody said this would be 'Anything Goes'," Chibi-ko answered, "This is just pulling a three-on-one ambush."

"Well, we know how to fix that," Chibi-ma narrowed his eyes.

"Attack!" Aeka pointed at Ryoko.

Before Aeka's Guardians could act, the Chibi-Ranma puppets had already begun to make their move.

"Moko Takabisha!" the two chibi-puppets shouted together, each one sending their 'Fierce Tiger Dominating Blast' at a different Guardian and blasting them throw the walls behind them.

"No more outside help, Princess!" Chibi-ko shouted into her mike, "Or next time, I'll just blast you instead!"

Ranma dropped his face into his hands - he didn't care what Granny Washu had said, he still couldn't believe something like that was supposed to be part of his personality.

For her part, the Universe's Greatest - and Cutest - Scientist held out a large bowl towards her grandson as an offering, "Popcorn?"

Keeping his face in one hand, Ranma used the other to reach over and take a handful of popcorn from the bowl.


	5. V - What It's All About

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 is the creation of Rumiko Takahashi and ...Honestly, I'm not sure who owns Tenchi Muyo anymore, really... each being used for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit.

* * *

><p>-o0O0o-<p>

"Chibified"  
>'What It's All About'<br>By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

-o0O0o-

* * *

><p>Nighttime in the Tendo house, a time of still peace and quiet tranquility... unless of course anyone happens to be home that night. When the house is occupied, it serves as a signal to the various crazies of Nerima Ward to converge on the location and go wild. Shampoo and Kodachi would show up to 'convince' Ranma of their claims, usually resulting in a fight between whichever one was there and Akane - or, on occasion, a three-way free-for-all fight - or Ryoga might decide it was time for Ranma to once again 'Prepare to die'; if Happosai was staying there for the night, then Taro might drop in to make another attempt to force the old man to change his name...<p>

And Happosai was a problem in and of himself. He was a problem that drew in more problems, Taro wouldn't be a problem for the Tendo household - and their Saotome guests - if it weren't for Happosai being there in the first place. And Happosai himself wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for some of his more annoying habits; stealing underwear, groping females... and waking certain aqua-transexuals up in the middle of the night with buckets of ice-cold water to grope their female form, an action that can result in...

"Freakin' old pervert!" Ranma-chan snarled as she punched the ancient Grand Master of Anything Goes off of her chest and across the room.

"Nice punch, Ranma-kun!" Chibi-ma cheered as he and Chibi-ko appeared out of nowhere with their commentators' desk.

"Nice? Oh, come on!" Chibi-ko countered, "He hit an old man while the guy was distracted, that's the kind of thug act we should expect from Ryoga - not the reigning champ!"

"That's no old man, that's Happosai; how would you feel if he was groping you instead?"

"You should respect a man with that level of appreciation for the female form," Chibi-ko answered, "You've got to wonder why Cologne ever left him - I mean, it's not like we can't tell Shampoo's definitely his great-granddaughter, they've both got that same glomp."

"'Appreciation for the female form'... What the hell are you talking about, Chibi-ko?" Chibi-ma demanded to know.

"It's simple, Chibi-ma... There is a man who understands; It's all about the puppies," Chibi-ko announced, reaching for the hem of her shirt only to be stopped by her partner.

"Don't," Chibi-ma sighed, "We don't have the money to bribe Standards and Practices again."

"Who cares about them? These are beautiful and all-natural - perfectly in scale with Ranma-kun's own in female form," Chibi-ko reminded her partner, "You know what? They should be worshipped! Get down on your knees and genuflect!"

"Not this day," Chibi-ma shook his head, "Not this day or any other."

The door to the Saotome's room slammed open and a half-asleep and all-angry Nabiki stood there, looking for all the world like a vengeful goddess of war, "Now hear _this_: whether it is your little raids, Happosai; fiances and challengers for you, Ranma... or whatever stupid comments you two puppets make... if I do not get my beauty sleep, if I am now allowed to rest, I will go insane and I swear to the Kamis of Wealth and Cunning _that I will take you with me_! Are we _clear _on this?"

Two martial artists and two Chibi-puppets slowly nodded.

"Good," Nabiki smiled putting them all in mind of a cat at an all-you-can-eat seafood buffet, "Well, good night, everyone - sleep tight."

As Nabiki softly shut the door behind her, Chibi-ko had a comment, "And still the reigning champion in the women's division; 'cause there's no technique or trick anyone else has that's half as scary as that smile..."


	6. VI - No Holds Barred

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 is the creation of Rumiko Takahashi and ...Honestly, I'm not sure who owns Tenchi Muyo anymore, really... each being used for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit.

* * *

><p>-o0O0o-<p>

"Chibified"  
>'No Holds Barred'<br>By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

-o0O0o-

* * *

><p>The sight had become commonplace in Nerima, Saotome Ranma would be targeted by a fiance or rival and they would appear; one-eighth his size and looking respectively like his natural-male and curse-based-female forms, bringing with them chairs and a table, providing in-depth commentary on whatever fight was happening and known by the names of 'Chibi-ma' and 'Chibi-ko' The only explanation anyone was ever able to get out of Ranma were mutterings about his grandmother being a genius and he was the only sane person in his family. Some people enjoyed the commentaries, some people thought they were just another drop of stupidity and insanity in the bucket, and some people became offended by them, but the closest anyone had come to stopping them had been a threat by Nabiki during a late-night fight between Ranma and Happosai that had gotten too loud between the commentary and the actual fight for her to sleep through it. The idea that Chibi-ko, the female chibi-Ranma puppet, had actually been supporting Happosai in the fight was one that no one wanted to think too hard about. Chibi-ma had suggested afterwards that his 'sister' took a little too much after the females on Nodoka's side of the family; that is Ranma-kun's mother herself, his aunt, and as well the Cutest Scientist in the Universe that had created the chibi-puppets. No one who had met any of them had seen fit to argue the point.<p>

Probably the denizens of Nerima most welcoming to the chibi-puppets were the local food carts; where before people had vacated areas whenever Ranma and any rivals or fiances were present at the same time, with the arrival of the chibi-Ranma puppets, some brave souls actually stuck around to listen to their commentary and the food cart vendors had quickly discovered that these brave souls often desired refreshments when the fights took time. That day's apparent match-up was the kind that did good business for the food carts; the reigning champion of the Nerima Wrecking Crew - Ranma himself - was being challenged by the Chinese master of hidden weapons - Mousse.

Without any kind announcer or referee - no one was _that _brave... or stupid - it was Chibi-ko who decided to start things off, "This is a no-holds-barred match-"

"Wait a second," Chibi-ma interrupted, "Ranma-kun practices Anything Goes Martial Arts... _Every_ match is technically a no-holds-barred match."

"As I was saying, this is a no-holds-barred match, weapons are not only permitted, they're encouraged - I want to see steel chairs to the face and some two-by-fours getting busted over people's heads, folks!"

"Ranma-kun doesn't _use _weapons," Chibi-ma reminded his partner.

"Well, hold on a minute, then," Chibi-ko frowned, "If Ranma-kun doesn't use weapons, does he really practice _Anything _Goes or is it just '_Almost _Anything Goes'?"

Chibi-ma rolled his eyes, "I don't know, -ko. Why don't you ask your friend Happosai since he founded the style?"

"Come on, what have you got against Happosai?"

"He's a pervert and a panty-thief," Chibi-ma accused, "I don't see how someone who's supposed to technically be female can support him."

"Hey, humanity would never have survived if it wasn't for the perverts," Chibi-ko countered, "They all called Kinsey a pervert, but if it weren't for him, we'd all still be stuck in-"

"_Don't_ finish that sentence!" Chibi-ma shouted, "Seriously, I'm starting to think you want us to get in trouble!"

"Ranma-kun's opponent is a guy whose secret weapon is a toddler's toilet training potty," Chibi-ko pointed out, "And he throws it at people. Between that and Nabiki's idea of amatuer photography, I'm a saint! Ranma-kun never sees a sen from those pictures you know. In fact; you know what? Somebody call a lawyer, I say he should license his image and sue for back royalties!"

Ten feet away, Ranma and Mousse hadn't actually begun to fight after Mousse had launched his traditional chain-based opening move and Ranma had dodged. Instead, the Chinese male stared in confusion at the chibi-Ranma puppets and shook his head.

"Are those things always that... vocal?" he finally found the words to ask.

Ranma groaned, "You have no idea; it's like if my life wasn't already crazy enough, it now gets a pair of arguing narrators. My grandmom had to be nuts to build those things... especially with her having her own set of them already..."


	7. VII - Royal Rumble

Author's Note: If you like music while you're reading, I recommend Lemon Demon's "Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny". It just kept playing in my head while I wrote parts of this.

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 is the creation of Rumiko Takahashi and ...Honestly, I'm not sure who owns Tenchi Muyo anymore, really... each being used for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit.

* * *

><p>-o0O0o-<p>

"Chibified"  
>'Royal Rumble'<br>By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

-o0O0o-

* * *

><p>"Let's get it on!" - Mills Lane, 'Celebrity Deathmatch'.<p>

* * *

><p>-o0o-<p>

It was a normal, sunny day in Nerima; which is to say that all hell was breaking loose, because without the rain to drive the Jusenkyo-cursed indoors there were no limits to the insanity that could happen. On rainy days, ducks could chase cats, piglets could attack pig-tailed girls, and sometimes even creatures that looked like they belonged in a Minoan labyrinth could show up and start fighting geriatric panty-thieves. Sunny days were much worse. Sunny days, in their own ways, were worse than 'dark and stormy' nights for being a prelude to trouble, because everyone expects bad things to happen on 'dark and stormy' nights, but they unconsciously relax and let their guards down on warm, dry, sunny days, leaving them wide open for things to get...

Interesting.

If such a word could be used to describe the current situation in the streets of Nerima without it being considered a massive understatement. Except for the so-called 'adults' and Pantyhose Taro, it seemed as though anyone that might be considered a 'member in 'good' standing' of the Nerima Wrecking Crew had ended up involved in a brawl-for-it-all in the middle of the neighborhood. No one would ever be sure in the aftermath how it started, but it's almost certain that cries of "Ranma, prepare to die!" were involved. Even fighters that rarely matched up against each other were facing off; Shampoo had attacked Akane with her trademark battlecry of "Obstacles are for killing!" only for Kuno to come to the defense of his 'Fierce Tigeress' against the 'Chinese Assassin', resulting in Mousse launching a counter-offensive against the 'Noble Scion of Kuno' for daring to harm 'his' Shampoo; Konatsu and Sasuke were pitted against each other in an epic battle of ninja skill when the cross-dressing 'kunoichi' defended Ukyo against Kodachi only to be confronted by the Kunos' shinobi retainer; and some fights were to be expected, like Akane and Ryoga both attacking Ranma for their usual reasons, 'seeing hell' and 'Stop picking on poor Ryoga'.

And on the sidelines, miniturised versions of Ranma's two forms - Chibi-puppets created by his grandmother 'The Greatest and Cutest Scientist in The Universe' - sat behind a fold-up table with microphones on it, giving anyone who wanted to listen the play-by-play of the day.

The male Chibi-puppet shook his head, "Kuno, Ryoga, Mousse, Kodachi, Shampoo, Ukyo, Akane, the list goes on; everybody seems to be getting in on this fight..."

"Holy Hannah, you know what this means, Chibi-ma?" The female puppet announced excitedly, "We've got an unscheduled Survivor Series breaking out here, folks!"

"Are you sure about that?"

"It's either a Survivor Series or Royal Rumble here, Chibi-ma; either way, it's gonna be a real slobber-knocker of a fight!"

"Sometimes, I really wonder about you, Chibi-ko..."

"Don't 'wonder' too far, you might get lost," Chibi-ko informed her partner, only for them to seconds later have to throw themselves to the sides as a previously airborne Mousse came crashing down on their table, helped on his way by Kodachi's ribbon, and broke it in two.

"Oh, that's it, I'm putting these kids down," Chibi-ko cracked her knuckles and stood up, "No one disrespects the Queen like this."

Chibi-ma shook his head, muttering to himself, "At least she isn't demanding that we call her 'Princess' - one of those is enough for the entire galaxy."

Kuno was the first to notice Chibi-ko's entry into the actual fight and reached the same conclusion he had ever since the first time the female Chibi-puppet had appeared in Nerima.

"Forsooth, fair pig-tailed maiden!" the delusional kendoist announced, turning his attention from his latest 'challenge' to date Akane, "For I shall defeat the foul sorceror Saotome and in doing so force him to free your soul from this doll in which he has imprisoned you! Thus says the Blue Thunder!"

"Kuno-baby," Chibi-ko borrowed Nabiki's usual term of address for the upperclassman with a smirk on her face as she closed in on him, "I could just _flip _over that."

There's a lot of sayings about size; 'big things come in small packages', 'it's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog', 'the bigger they are, the harder they fall'... Chibi-ko proved there was plenty of truth in them when she threw herself into a backflip, using the motion and momentum to catch Kuno in a certain area with enough force to knock him a few inches into the air before he fell backwards onto the ground, cringing in pain.

"Such betrayal..." Kuno whimpered.

"Stupid little chibi-thing," Akane snarled as she summoned her mallet, "Who said you could interfere in my fight!"

When Akane swung her mallet intending to smash Chibi-ko, it was a mistake. It was a mistake born of foolish assumption; Akane assumed that because Chibi-ko - and Chibi-ma, for that matter - looked like Ranma, she would react the same as Ranma did and simply let the violent maniac hit her. It was a mistake because Ranma had been raised by Genma, but Chibi-ko had been based on Ranma with additions to her personality from Nodoka, Ryoko and of course Washu-chan that meant she did not always handle things the same way her Ranma-kun would. In this case, she had no intention of letting Akane just hit her and certainly none of letting the attack go unanswered.

Instead, Chibi-ko rolled to the side away from the mallet and then launched herself towards Akane before the mallet's wielder could recover from her swing. With her arm out to the side, Chibi-ko caught Akane by surprise with a lariat, but instead of knocking her opponent backwards, Chibi-ko ended up swinging around Akane's neck back to her front side and twisting so that she could lock her legs on either side of Akane's head and neck before using Akane's over-reached position and her's own momentum to send the youngest Tendo flying face-first into the ground five feet away.

"And Chibi-ko introduces Akane's face to the ground with a devastating 'HurricanRanma'," Chibi-ma announced after pulling his microphone from the ruined pile of table and martial artist., causing Mousse to frown at the chibi puppet.

"Shouldn't that be Hurricanrana'?" The male Chinese Amazon asked from his prone position, having decided it safer just to 'play dead'.

"Have you forgotten we're chibi-Ranmas?" Chibi-ma pointed out sarcastically.

"Where does he keep you, anyway?" Mousse wondered as Chibi-ko stood up and cracked her neck, making a comment to Akane that neither he nor Chibi-ma could make out from their location.

"That's none of your business, alright," Chibi-ma snapped, just before seeing one of the fighters coming up on his 'sister' from behind, "Excuse me..."

Sasuke had managed to best Konatsu and now had his ninja-to raised to strike at Chibi-ko when he found out that 'pick on someone your own size' works just as well on short people after Chibi-ma tapped him on the shoulder, waited for him to turn, then gave him a knee to face special. As the ninja dropped groaning to the grounds, Chibi-ko turned around and looked at her 'brother'.

"I'd have had him if you'd've given me one more minute," she snorted.

"Yeah, and there's also a saying about frogs having wings," Chibi-ma pointed out.

"Oh-hohoho!" The 'Black Rose' announced her presence as she lept over other combatants to land before the two Chibi-puppets, "You'd dare to defile the face of my beloved by siding with this miniature harridan to assault my retainer?"

Chibi-ko looked at Chibi-ma and flatly asked a question, "'Blue Thunder', 'Black Rose', so does this mean when I kick her ass I'll have beaten the Kunos black and blue?"

Chibi-ma groaned, "That was bad, 'Ko, that was bad."

"Hoho!" Kodachi laughed, "Unlike my foolish brother, you'll find I'm not so easily defeated!"

Chibi-ma looked at Chibi-ko and cocked his head to the side, "Double-whammy?"

Chibi-ko gave a sharp nod, "You're on!"

Chibi-ko ran towards Chibi-ma, who knit his fingers together to form a cradle that Chibi-ko stepped in as he turned and tossed her into the air, up and over Kodachi, only to put out her feet and 'land' on and kick back off from an airborne Ryoga - coincidently, throwing him off from launching his 'rain of bandannas' attack that had once cost Akane her long hair - to come flying back towards Kodachi. While Chibi-ko was in the air, Chibi-ma was on the ground, running towards Kodachi until he did a half-flip followed by a handspring into a torpedo kick that took the Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnast in the stomach at the same time as his 'sister' caught her from behind with Chibi-ko's second lariat of the fight, causing Kodachi's weight to shift sending her face first into the ground with Chibi-ko on top of her as Chibi-ma tucked and rolled out from underneath.

"Why, you little..." Kodachi spat out dirt as the Chibis made their ways to opposite sides of her head and as soon as she had lifted her body up off the ground, they caught the female Kuno's head in between two kicks from opposing sides - essentially 'boxing her ears' with their feet - which was one blow too much and caused her to collapse back to the ground unconscious.

"Ranma-kun's a good man, he's got a good heart," Chibi-ma said to the unconscious Kuno girl, "He doesn't hit girls..."

Chibi-ko tugged on her own mini-version of Ranma-kun's Chinese-style shirt, "That's what he's got me for now."

Ranma-kun himself would have tried to stop what happened next, but by the time he had finished putting Ryoga down for the count and turned his attention to the other standing combatants, it was already too late, pride had carried too far and Ukyo and Shampoo had called a truce with each other and were instead standing side-by-side glaring at Ranma's chibi-puppets.

"You're not getting us like that, and I'm going to enjoy taking you puppets apart," Ukyo pronounced, "I don't know what his grandmother's problem is, but I'm the only girl Ranma-honey needs in his life, got it?"

"Shampoo think Spatula-Girl think crazy things," Shampoo did something that would have made Happosai very happy - if he wasn't her Great-Grandfather - to make sure everyone's attention was focused where she wanted it, on her figure, "This all woman Airen needs, not too-too-flat chested crossdresser."

"Give them five minutes and they'll be back fighting each other," Chibi-ma joked.

"Give me two minutes," Chibi-ko growled, "And they'll be too unconscious to fight anyone."

"Just try it," Ukyo snarled, tightening her grip on her battle spatula before lunging forward towards the Chibi-puppets.

"No! Ucchan, don't!" Ranma shouted, but it was too late...

* * *

><p>-o0o-<p>

Two and a half minutes later, standing over a defeated duo of Ukyo and Shampoo, Chibi-ma raised Chibi-ko's hand into the air, "The winners - and still Tag Team Champions of the Nerima Wrecking Crew..."

"Chibified!" Chibi-ko announced loudly.

Ranma stared at them, not sure what to think, then finally he muttered, "Granny... what have you created?"


	8. VIII - Recap

In the immortal words of Samuel L. Clemens... "Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR."

Disclaimer: "Ranma 1/2" is owned by Takahashi Rumiko and used without permission or intent to profit. I'm unsure who owned "Tenchi Muyo", but it falls under the same classifications and restrictions.

* * *

><p>-o0O0o-<p>

"Chibified"  
>'Recap'<br>By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

-o0O0o-

* * *

><p>Previously, on "Chibified"...<p>

_The male Chibi-puppet shook his head, "Kuno, Ryoga, Mousse, Kodachi, Shampoo, Ukyo, Akane, the list goes on; everybody seems to be getting in on this fight..."_

_"Holy Hannah, you know what this means, Chibi-ma?" The female puppet announced excitedly, "We've got an unscheduled Survivor Series breaking out here, folks!"_

_"Are you sure about that?"_

_"It's either a Survivor Series or Royal Rumble here, Chibi-ma; either way, it's gonna be a real slobber-knocker of a fight!"_

-o0o-

_"Stupid little chibi-thing," Akane snarled as she summoned her mallet, "Who said you could interfere in my fight!"_

_When Akane swung her mallet intending to smash Chibi-ko, it was a mistake. It was a mistake born of foolish assumption; Akane assumed that because Chibi-ko - and Chibi-ma, for that matter - looked like Ranma, she would react the same as Ranma did and simply let the violent maniac hit her. It was a mistake because Ranma had been raised by Genma, but Chibi-ko had been based on Ranma with additions to her personality from Nodoka, Ryoko and of course Washu-chan that meant she did not always handle things the same way her Ranma-kun would. In this case, she had no intention of letting Akane just hit her and certainly none of letting the attack go unanswered._

_Instead, Chibi-ko rolled to the side away from the mallet and then launched herself towards Akane before the mallet's wielder could recover from her swing. With her arm out to the side, Chibi-ko caught Akane by surprise with a lariat, but instead of knocking her opponent backwards, Chibi-ko ended up swinging around Akane's neck back to her front side and twisting so that she could lock her legs on either side of Akane's head and neck before using Akane's over-reached position and her's own momentum to send the youngest Tendo flying face-first into the ground five feet away._

-o0o-

_"Why, you little..." Kodachi spat out dirt as the Chibis made their ways to opposite sides of her head and as soon as she had lifted her body up off the ground, they caught the female Kuno's head in between two kicks from opposing sides - essentially 'boxing her ears' with their feet - which was one blow too much and caused her to collapse back to the ground unconscious._

_"Ranma-kun's a good man, he's got a good heart," Chibi-ma said to the unconscious Kuno girl, "He doesn't hit girls..."_

_Chibi-ko tugged on her own mini-version of Ranma-kun's Chinese-style shirt, "That's what he's got me for now."_

-o0o-

_Standing over a defeated duo of Ukyo and Shampoo, Chibi-ma raised Chibi-ko's hand into the air, "The winners - and still Tag Team Champions of the Nerima Wrecking Crew..."_

_"Chibified!" Chibi-ko announced loudly._

_Ranma stared at them, not sure what to think, then finally he muttered, "Granny... what have you created?"_

And now, the continuation of "Chibified".

* * *

><p>-o0O0o-<p>

The very fabric of Nerima Ward life had changed since that day. There was a saying that went "Question, how does one fight a big monster; answer, with a bigger monster". That day, the two chibi-puppets created by Ranma's maternal grandmother had proven that, despite their diminuitive stature, they were the biggest 'monsters' in Nerima Ward. The number of attacks on Ranma had decreased; firstly, by many of the fiancees, rivals and associated characters having to spend time in the hospital recovering from broken bones, concussions and other injuries suffered that day; and secondly, by deterrant, as the two puppets were still capable of appearing anywhere Ranma himself as and had already demonstrated that they possessed fighting skills on their human counterpart's own level with far more willingness to put an opponent down hard, no matter who they were.

Fortunately for Genma, Doctor Tofu had been able to contact a proctologist and a veterinarian despite the incident being on a weekend and the three of them had been able to perform emergency surgery to remove the wooden sign from the panda's rear end - and because Genma was technically human, despite his being in his cursed form of a panda at the time of the incident, Ranma and the chibi-puppets were cleared of all charges of animal cruelty and violating protected species laws.

For those that were familar with the two miniature Ranma duplicates, it was as though that day had flipped a switch deep inside their beings; whereas before they had been content to merely sit behind their table and comment on Ranma's own fights, now they were just as likely to intervene and deal with the instigator of a fight themselves as they had done that day. As an unexpected side-effect of fulfilling their secondary function of protecting their creator's grandson, Chibi-Ko and Chibi-Ma had done something else in Nerima Ward; they had reduced the overall level of chaos since most of it resulted from attacks on Ranma by rivals, fiancess and their associates. There was still chaos in Nerima Ward, there would always be chaos in Nerima Ward, it was like a well-spring of chaos, but there was no longer uncontrollable and total chaos in Nerima Ward. Some residents had even went so far as to define it by saying that even if he was still there, the chaos had returned to a 'pre-Ranma' level, even if the local hospital was busier than it had been back before the pigtailed martial artist had arrived in Nerima Ward. If anyone had known the American saying that 'There's a new Sheriff in town", they would have thought it appropriate to the new situation in Nerima Ward; the chibi-puppets wore no stars on their chests and didn't carry six-shooters, but they were the new Sheriffs in town.


	9. IX - Extreme Rules

In the immortal words of Samuel L. Clemens... "Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR."

Disclaimer: "Ranma 1/2" is owned by Takahashi Rumiko and "Love Hina" by Akamatsu Ken, each used without permission or intent to profit. I'm unsure who owned "Tenchi Muyo", but it falls under the same classifications and restrictions.

* * *

><p>-o0O0o-<p>

"Chibified"  
>'Extreme Rules'<br>By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

-o0O0o-

* * *

><p>"And now we come to tonight's main event, don't we, Chibi-ko?"<p>

"That's right, Chibi-ma. And may I say, I'm surprised that Kuno's lasted this long without dedicating a fight to his 'pigtailed goddess'?"

The nightmare never seemed to end. It had taken months for his noble body to recover from the damage done him that day, but he knew his soul still suffered. He now saw those accursed puppets in his dreams, the one was but the foul sorceror in miniature, not daring to hide its evil from the world, and the other was not a prison to his Pigtailed Maiden's soul but rather an evil thing made in her image to taunt him. Oh, it was to mourn, that the vile Saotome would unleash such hideous creations upon the world to do his bidding as he was too weak spiritually to defeat the pure soul of the Blue Thunder. That his stain upon the family honor of a father had gone so far as to do this only proved to Kuno Tatewaki that all hope for his family's future rested upon his noble brow. To think that one in whom the blood of Kuno flowed would not only permit the existance of those accursed puppets but to willingly invite them into the sacred halls of learning of Furinken High School to defile with their presence and their words the noble art of Kendo and the sacred competition between schools... oh, such disgrace upon his family's honor...

"...What was the name of the other school again?" One of the accursed puppets commented.

The other, the mocking one, the insult to his Pigtailed Maiden, answered with a shrug, "Who knows or cares? I'm just here to see Kuno get his ass kicked."

"Can you say that in public?" Chibi-ma frowned.

"Anyone who has a problem with that," his 'sister' answered, "can take it up with my foot when it kicks _their_ ass."

"Okay, before Chibi-ko has us arrested for creating a public disturbance or something... Kuno's challenger for this evening's main event - an 'anything goes' bokken fight to the finish - Aoyama Motoko of the Shinmeiryu School of Swordsmanship."

"With any luck, it will be a fight to Kuno's finish," Chibi-Ko muttered loud enough for her microphone to pick up.

-o0o-

* * *

><p>Forty minutes later, the fight still went on.<p>

"Oh, come on!" Chibi-ko shouted in frustration, "Somebody kick somebody's ass, I don't care whose anymore!"

The fight was also proving that Kuno's losses against Ranma weren't because he wasn't skilled with a bokken or katana - rather that he was too skilled, skilled to the point of being unable to know what to do when his opponent didn't use a similar weapon and thus fought beyond Kuno's realm of knowledge. Aoyama, for her part, was equally skilled and so the fight continued in a deadlock with neither side able to gain supremacy over the other long enough to force it to a conclusion.

Chibi-ma looked at the stands and the people getting up from their seats and heading for the doors... and shook his head, "When the audience starts leaving, that's when you know that somebody just needs to end the damn fight."

"Where the hell's the damn ref?" Chibi-ko swore, flipping her red ponytail over her shoulder, "Just declare this fight a draw already so we can go home!"

"Lesser Air-Cutting Flash!"

The two chibi-puppets watched as Aoyama's special technique launched Kuno out of the ring and through the wall.

"Was that legal?" Chibi-ma asked.

"Who cares? I'm just glad this is over!" Chibi-ko answered, "I haven't been this bored since that droning English guy substituted for Hinako-sensei and put the entire class to sleep."


	10. X - Tag Team

In the immortal words of Samuel L. Clemens... "Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR."

Disclaimer: "Ranma 1/2" is owned by Takahashi Rumiko and "Love Hina" by Akamatsu Ken, each used without permission or intent to profit. I'm unsure who owned "Tenchi Muyo", but it falls under the same classifications and restrictions.

* * *

><p>-o0O0o-<p>

"Chibified"  
>'Tag-Team'<br>By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

-o0O0o-

* * *

><p>It was a normal day in Tokyo's Nerima Ward...<p>

"Ranma die, please!"

...Which is to say it was complete and utter chaos. Pretty standard really. At least it wasn't a dark and stormy night, though. Those seem to happen so often that it seems like some places wouldn't know what a dry, sunny day was.

"For those just joining us," a voice seemed to echo throughout the entire Ward, "Ranma-kun's once again caught in the middle of somebody else's problem."

"That's right, Chibi-ma," a second voice, female, added, "And this is just further proof that all the Fiance Corps are short-tempered, trigger-happy idiots, really."

"You know, Chibi-ko," Chibi-ma commented, "If _I _had said that, it'd be sexist, just because chibi-puppet or not, I'm still a guy..."

"Hey, it's the truth," Chibi-ko answered, "Shampoo got her ass kicked and knocked out, so the next time she sees the girl that did it she attacks them - only it's not her, it's her twin sister, who's actually trying to help the Amazon twit. Now she's got them both after her for revenge and like you said, any time someone comes to Nerima Ward wanting revenge on anyone, Ranma-kun ends up gettting caught in it."

"What kind of idiots decide to punish Shampoo by attacking Ranma-kun, answer me that?" Chibi-ma asked.

"Besides Akane when she mallets him for being too dazed to avoid being glomped after an Amazon Airborne Assault?" Chibi-ko replied, "Or was that a rhetorical question?"

"That really was a rhetorical question," Chibi-ma informed his 'sister', "Now we're going to get it from Akane's little fanclub - again."

"Let them come," Chibi-ko grinned ferally, "It'll give the local EMTs job security."

"Ladies and Gentlemen, if you're listening to this... she's the sanest female in the family - Ranma-kun's cursed form doesn't count - just remember that," Chibi-ma announced.


	11. XI - Titantron

Author's Note: The 365 Project is an experimental _multi-fandom_ project to write and post at least one short every day for the next year, not including my semi-regular bi-weekly updates. For more details, see the relevent section in my profile. This is The 365 Project, 8 November.

In the immortal words of Samuel L. Clemens... "Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR."

Disclaimer: "Ranma 1/2" is owned by Takahashi Rumiko, used without permission or intent to profit. I'm unsure who owned "Tenchi Muyo", but it falls under the same classifications and restrictions.

* * *

><p>-o0O0o-<p>

"Chibified"

'Titantron'

By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

-o0O0o-

* * *

><p>A regular check-up is essential to good health and well-being. Unless, of course, that check-up is for certain miniature models of martial artists to ensure that they're in top condition and get any upgrades which their creator had come up with. Especially when that creator is the Greatest - and Cutest - Scientist in The Universe.<p>

"Okay!" Washu said with a smile, patting the male chibi-puppet made in the image of her only grandchild at the moment on the shoulder with one hand as she closed an access hatch with the other hand, "That should do it!"

"Thanks, Washu-chan," Chibi-Ranma replied as he stood up on the table, "I feel great!"

"You're amazing, Washu-chan," one of the scientist's own chibi-puppets appeared over her shoulder to cheer.

Washu-chan's other chibi-Washu puppet popped up over her other shoulder to add, "Simply the greatest!"

"Greatest _Scientist_," Chibi-Ranko stressed from where she was standing on the floor tapping her foot, "We all know Ranma-kun's the greatest there is at what he does."

"_Washu-chan_ is the greatest," one of the Chibi-Washus countered.

"Uh-uh-uh," Washu-chan waggled a finger, "All of you behave now - you wouldn't want to make me upset, now, would you?"

"No, Washu-chan!" Four voices chorused in answer.

"Good little spawn of my wonderful science," Washu-chan grinned, "Now we just need to test the Chibi-Ranmas' newest upgrade..."

The two chibi-puppets to which she was referring snapped to attention, "Yes, Washu-chan!"

* * *

><p>-o0o-<p>

"Oh-oh-oh-oh... Oh-oh-oh-oh..."

Saotome Ranma looked up at the images of him fighting projected on the side of Furinkan High School as he walked through the front gate and music started playing...

"Everybody was kung-fu fighting, those cats were fast as lightning, in fact it was a little bit frightening, but they fought with expert timing..."

"Okay, this isn't so bad," Ranma commented to himself as his head started to move along with the music - it just made him want to run through some katas while it played, that or get into a fight, "I think I can deal with them doing this..."


	12. XII - Super-Heavyweight

Author's Note: The 365 Project is an experimental _multi-fandom_ project to write and post at least one short every day for the next year, not including my semi-regular bi-weekly updates. For more details, see the relevent section in my profile. This is The 365 Project, 9 November.

In the immortal words of Samuel L. Clemens... "Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR."

Disclaimer: "Ranma 1/2" is owned by Takahashi Rumiko, used without permission or intent to profit. I'm unsure who owned "Tenchi Muyo", but it falls under the same classifications and restrictions. As does our surprise mystery guest...

* * *

><p>-o0O0o-<p>

"Chibified"

'Super-Heavyweight'

By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

-o0O0o-

* * *

><p>Saotome Ranma sighed as he kicked Kuno Tatewaki hard enough that the self-proclaimed 'Blue Thunder' went flying through the air out of the park and out of sight.<p>

"Well, folks," the female of Ranma's two chibi-puppets announced, "It looks like Team Stupid is blasting off again."

"At least Kuno's building up frequent flyer miles," the male chibi-puppet added.

"I've been wondering..." the female started.

"Never a good thing to hear from you, Chibi-ko," her counterpart remarked.

"Stuff it, Chibi-ma," Chibi-ko retorted, "Why do we call him just 'Kuno', but we call his sister by her name? I know two Kunos would get confusing, but why not Kodachi and Tatewaki, why Kodachi and Kuno?"

"I never thought I'd say this," Chibi-ma sighed, "But you're thinking too much."

Any response was cut off as a screeching roar cut through the twilight air, followed shortly by sounds of devastation in the distance slowly growing closer.

Chibi-ma looked off in the direction from which the sounds were coming and saw something through the gaps between buildings, something large and familiar to every citizen of Japan, "What do you make of this, Chibi-ko?"

"Well, Chibi-ma," Chibi-ko smirked, "Off hand, I'd say we have ourselves a new challenger."

"Really?" Chibi-ma cocked his head to the side, "I thought that it was nature pointing out again the folly of man."

"Either way," the red-haired chibi-puppet shrugged, "You know what this means... It's Titantron time."

Chibi-ma groaned, "Please tell me you're not going to use that as some kind of tagline... it's worse than 'Ranma! Prepare to die!'."

Chibi-ko gave her 'brother' a dirty look, "Let's just start the damn music."

Almost as soon as the words were out of her mouth, images began playing on the sides of nearby buildings, regardless of the buildings' size, and from out of nowhere a song by Blue Oyster Cult was heard. This lasted for close to two minutes before a towering figure slammed into one of the buildings and sent it crashing to the ground. With a triumphant roar, Godzilla stepped into the park and Ranma did the one thing he never thought he would ever do; he looked up at the giant nuclear powered reptile and shook his head.

"Aw, hell no!"


	13. XIII - Summerslam

Author's Note: The 365 Project is an experimental _multi-fandom_ project to write and post at least one short every day for the next year, not including my semi-regular bi-weekly updates. For more details, see the relevent section in my profile. This is The 365 Project, 19 December.

In the immortal words of Samuel L. Clemens... "Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR."

Disclaimer: "Ranma 1/2" is owned by Takahashi Rumiko, used without permission or intent to profit. I'm unsure who owned "Tenchi Muyo", but it falls under the same classifications and restrictions. The "Summerslam" name is trademarked by World Wrestling Feder...er... I mean Entertainment.

* * *

><p>-o0O0o-<p>

"Chibified"  
>'Summerslam'<br>By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

-o0O0o-

* * *

><p>"What's going on here, Chibi-ma?"<p>

Next to his female counterpart, Chibi-ma shook his head, "I don't know, Chibi-ko... But it looks like there's _two _Ranma-kuns."

In disbelief, the two 'Chibi Ranma Puppets' looked from the Saotome Ranma standing next to his mother to the Saotome Ranma standing on the other side of the room next to his father.

"I repeat," Chibi-Ko said in a tone filled with doubt, "What the _Hell _is going on here today? This shouldn't be possible. There _can't _be two Ranma-kuns!"

"There can't be, but there is," Chibi-ma corrected, "We're looking at them right now, Chibi-ko."

"But which one's which? They're identical!"

"Uh, no, they're not identical," Chibi-ma remarked, noticing that the red of one of the two Ranmas' shirt was much darker than that of the other's, "I think there is only one true Ranma-kun... and we're about to find out which one it is."

* * *

><p>-o0O0o-<p>

Author's Note: Still not feeling well and recently watched a recording of the Undertaker versus Undertaker match from Summerslam '94. This is what you get when those combine...


End file.
